Tonight at #dverse we have been shown some wonderful poems about being lost. and given two options. 1) write a response to one of the poems shared, or
2) re write a lost poem as a found poem.
i have attempted the second option. as one of the examples given reminded me of my chilhood.
”Lost in the Forest”
“Lost in the forest, I broke off a dark twig
and lifted its whisper to my thirsty lips:
maybe it was the voice of the rain crying,
a cracked bell, or a torn heart.
Something from far off it seemed
deep and secret to me, hidden by the earth,
a shout muffled by huge autumns,
by the moist half-open darkness of the leaves.
Wakening from the dreaming forest there, the hazel-sprig
sang under my tongue, its drifting fragrance
climbed up through my conscious mind
as if suddenly the roots I had left behind
cried out to me, the land I had lost with my childhood—
and I stopped, wounded by the wandering scent.”
childhood forest revisited
(Based on the above poem “lost in the forest” by Pablo Neruda)
lost in my childhood’s forest
Where I got lost in play,
I would escape the crying rain,
Of my parents torn hearts,
As their marriage failed.
A happy future
Something far off it seemed,
A deep secret hidden from my child self.
The shout of pine scent suddenly
Revives the roots I left behind
As I climb through my sentient mind
To teach me the way to behave
For my children. As I find the memories
Of lost in the forest as the rain cries.
And sing this for all to hear.
© 19/10/2021 rog leach
“The shout of pine scent” is a very cool line. I liked it very much.
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Parenting is hard when you haven’t really been parented yourself. That awareness is so important. I love the use of smell as a memory trigger – it’s so powerful. Thank you for sharing this one.
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very moving and it captures all the lost feelings of childhood
“The shout of pine scent suddenly
Revives the roots I left behind”
Wonderful lines!
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You wowed me with the killer last line,” lost in the forest as the rain cries, and sing this for all to hear.” You rose admirably to the challenge, and you thrive within the form and the prompt.
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Thanks for an intimate look into the mindscape of a child of divorced parents. I love this idea: “As I climb through my sentient mind to teach me the way to behave for my children.”
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And you look up to the sentient mind for wisdom. This is just so lovely. That I think is the greatest trait of being a good parent. Thanks for sharing.
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Extremely well done Rog. You have crafted a killer poem in reflection of the original!
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I love how you tied this to the childhood memory of being lost. With your parent’s divorce, it almost seems like an escape… then how the pine scent brings back that memory… really good.
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Rog,
The honest passion of lessons learned and applied as memories recall what must be torn out and what preserved is simply riveting. Beautifully “found” and accomplished.
pax,
dora
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Thanks
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